Christmas is over for another year and even though I was pretty unwell for a lot of November and most of December and still not 100% now, I managed to enjoy quite a bit of Christmas.
I have had 2 weeks off work and don’t go back until Tuesday but I am actually really pleased to be getting back into a routine. However good a break is and yes, after the last couple of months I have had I certainly needed one, I am now though craving a routine.
Whilst quite a few of my friends are cursing setting the alarm after two weeks of lie ins – I am looking forward to returning to work and the structure that it brings me most of the time.
Over the last couple of weeks I have been going to bed later and getting up later – my sleep hasn’t been too bad but over the last couple of evenings I have become very depressed with no warning at all and then had to ensure that I got on with lots of jobs for Brownies or Church as a distraction to try and keep the depression at bay. This was a sure sign I was ready for work again! It will do me good to get a better bed time routine in place as I don’t want the depression to slowly creep back at other times of the day as well and sleep is crucial to this.
Eating is also something that needs to be in a routine for me! Christmas food is lovely, however it makes me feel a bit bloated and then I give myself a hard time that I am putting on weight which doesn’t do my self confidence any good either.
I haven’t worked full time hours since November as I had a bad bipolar episode and so of course I am a bit anxious about going back but I am pretty sure that I am well enough to cope and also seeing my GP tomorrow. I have been under the care of the community mental health team for the past month and it pleases me to say that they have been very supportive. They have for the first time in years listened to what I needed, not over complicated the care they gave me (which was my request) and worked with me to get to the position of going back under the care of my GP from tomorrow. I feel in control of the situation and that is often half the battle.
So as I pack away the Christmas decorations for another year and stop tidying cupboards for the sake of tidying it will be with a smile that I go back to work!
I am a great believer in creating good memories for the future and in the last two weeks I have certainly done that!