Just enjoying a therapeutic chat with a good friend and talking about my sadness that society and the health system we have today cannot accept that some people will never recover from long term mental illness.
Why do we have such a problem with this?
It basically means that the most vulnerable in society who need constant care for their mental health illnesses don’t get this due to a recovery model which seems most worried about patients developing any sort of therapeutic relationship with mental health staff than actually providing a safe space and the consistent care people need.
We can all find examples of physical health conditions which rightly require care for the entirety of someone’s life and this is often provided with the care and compassion that they deserve. It is also fair to say that some people do fully recover from some mental illnesses and that is great and this is not a criticism of them but just as with physical illness, everyone is different.
What I struggle to understand is why the way that physical illnesses are viewed is so different to mental illness?
This whole conversation with my lovely friend was sparked when we came across a lady in her 60’s who was obviously extremely mentally unwell. It was very upsetting to see and it was obvious that this lady needed full time mental health care. I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying that but I am absolutely certain that she wouldn’t have fitted in to a mental health shaped care box that was probably made available to her.
After nearly 30 years of mental health treatment I now do not tolerate any care professional or acquaintance trying to suggest ways that I might fully recover. I often say do you think I deserve treatment for a finite amount of time? Have I used up all my care tokens or will you not want anything to do with me if I don’t get fully better? For me that is how it seems and I make it clear to those that are involved in my care that after all these years I haven’t got the headspace to deal with the criticism and discrimination and shouldn’t have to.
I am one of the fortunate ones who have a support network around me who accept my illness for what it is. When chatting with my friend earlier she said that people often say to her when hearing I am having an episode, ‘what brought that on’ or ‘did something trigger this’. She always responds – that is what her head does, that is the illness. I am so grateful for this and just wish it was the norm and especially for those without the support that I have.
Recently, whilst having a telephone consultation with a community mental health nurse being assessed back in the system after 5 years I made this very clear. I know what I need, I know what helps me, what I won’t put up with and what are serious red flags. If I decline certain support (the most recent being group therapy to manage emotions!) then this doesn’t mean I am refusing help but that I know this wouldn’t work for me and that when you fight on your own without proper mental health support it would be silly to accept help that could exacerbate symptoms. I am now less than a month away from my first psychiatrist appointment in 6 years which seems bonkers for someone on the severe mental health register and also with a diagnosis of bipolar but I do feel this time that I am in control and unlike that lady I saw today able to advocate for what works for me.
Oh and finally, this opinion does not mean I wouldn’t love to be fully better. Of course I would but I am a realist and I am not going to add to my distress by guilt tripping myself over being unwell for longer than a set amount of time that society deems is acceptable!
So please think about how you respond to people who have a long term mental health illness. It can happen to anyone and we are a group of people where the care available is totally unfit for purpose at the moment.