Loving the sun but not the short sleeves and inevitable questions

So far the summer of 2014 has been kind weather wise. Long hot days and an opportunity to wear some of those clothes that might not venture out of the wardrobe for 48 weeks of the year! I love the sun, it does help my mood and I also love wearing summer clothes but I dread the questions and stares about my self harm scars. I started self harming when I was only 14 & only stopped a year or so ago and I have many scars on my arms, legs and even my stomach. My legs are actually not that noticeable but my arms are and so I often wear long sleeved tops in certain situations when it is really too hot to do so. If I do wear short sleeves I am constantly worrying about answering difficult questions, offending people or triggering others.
I run a Brownie pack and never wear short sleeves and often boil as a consequence but children are inquisitive and I have had enough of difficult questions.
Over the past few years I have become ‘braver’ but at work I always wear a cardigan or a jacket and most of the time this is because I don’t want others to feel uncomfortable but probably I am embarrassed even though I know this is part of who I am. Maybe a question would get a conversation going and help someone else in the future?
I suppose with time the scars will fade more and I will become more comfortable and hopefully there will be summers in the future that won’t be so difficult.


One thought on “Loving the sun but not the short sleeves and inevitable questions

  1. I’m in a similar position as a youth worker. You’ll find that most people won’t even notice at all, those who do and who ask about it tend to be those needing support themselves too. I have to run workshops on self harm and always feel a hypocrite because it’s still an issue for me but somehow have to park that anxiety and remember that I’m there for the young people and not my own insecurity.
    But you’re being brave, keep going!

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