My care coordinator called me earlier today after 48 hours from when I first called my GP. Not sure what the delay was but she said that she would refer me to the Crisis Team also known as Home Treatment Team (HTT). She then called me back and said that she had been told that she would have to see me first before the HTT could. I didn’t understand this & wasn’t happy to accept this because a) I couldn’t get to see my care coordinator when she could see me and b) I needed to just be assessed once and not twice which is what would happen. I couldn’t understand why they don’t realise that if I ask for help and kick start the crisis plan then I need to be taken seriously and certainly not given 2 assessments unnecessarily. The other problem of getting somewhere was also not understood which was frustrating.
I was therefore told that there was nothing else that could be done apart from a and e.
At 3pm my friend and I agreed that I had to go to a and e as so unwell but I was very frustrated by this. We were seen firstly by a nurse who points people to the most appropriate area and then we sat in a quieter area of the waiting room. I was seen by the triage nurse very quickly however she didn’t fill me with confidence. She called the mental health liaison worker whilst I was there and even said ‘I’ve got another one for you’! I just don’t understand why people think that is an acceptable thing to say – you wouldn’t say it about a cancer patient? She also commented on my anxiety and instead of being sympathetic she said I didn’t need to shake! Couldn’t make it up really!
By this time it was only about 3.40pm and it was stressful and exacerbated my anxiety & paranoia. We stayed in the same place the entire time and I probably lost concentration to have a panic attack but no one called us at all. About 6pm I asked whether there was any update and shortly afterwards the mental health worker (which we didn’t know who he was at the time) came and asked for someone calked ‘Helen’. It transpired that she had also got fed up with waiting.
Even though I was still waiting we witnessed the mental health worker having a good long chat and laugh with the security guard for over 10 minutes and then he disappeared. It was only when the original nurse that we saw when I walked in the door saw us still waiting and actually went and found the mental health worker that we realised what had happened. Apparently the mental health worker had been ‘looking for me’ since 6pm – it was now nearly 7.30pm. As usual it seemed that it was my word against his – thank goodness that my friend was with me so I knew he hadn’t.
I was eventually seen and he was quite an amenable man however it is so hard for me to talk to strangers and also he asked me why I had refused to attend the HTT team earlier today! I couldn’t believe that had been put in my notes when I hadn’t refused at all.
I now have a referral to HTT and they are seeing me at 5.30pm tomorrow and will be able to help with PRN meads and support over the weekend. Just seems a completely ridiculous and time wasting way of doing things. When will crisis care change.
crisis care
After ‘Limbo’ lasted ages : the crisis came all too quickly…
Yesterday morning I made the difficult decision of calling my GP and putting my crisis care plan in place. I had gone to work and was taking things slowly and had taken a small dose of diazepam to try and hide the shakes and paranoia. I popped into a colleagues office ( she is a nurse) who took one look at me and knew that I was in crisis. It had come quickly and in a most peculiar way as I didn’t feel depressed in fact I didn’t feel much apart from horrendous anxiety, paranoia, hearing and seeing things that weren’t there and completely desperate. Despite this I didn’t really feel much – no senses, I wasn’t hot or cold, I wasn’t hungry and therefore was becoming physically ill as well.
My wonderful colleague let me use her phone to contact the GP who called back to confirm she had contacted the mental Heath system and I would hear from them tomorrow. In to mean time I am drugged up to my eye balls on diazepam but it means I can hardly move from my bed and whilst on my own all day this just made me worse and worse and my suicidal thoughts reach stage 2.
Plan for tomorrow is that my wonderful church Elder collects me to take me for coffee morning at church and hope I get an appointment and help for weekend. I can’t rely on any calls from the system so need to rely on my friends and family networks.
My biggest fear is being articulate in an assessment as can’t make sense of any of it. Not even sure that this is a depressive episode – more psychotic with suicidal symptoms. Just so confused. Also not seen psychiatrist for a year or maybe more.
Will the call come tomorrow or will I be left all weekend with no support in the system? Also running out of medications. All so very hard.
My Journey through the world of Mental Health 