What would help? What can we do?

Sadly over the past week I have become hugely anxious and paranoid and this is really starting to affect me a lot and is very debilitating. 

I have been so well for a long time and whilst I know it was unlikely to last for ever I am terrified that this anxiety might lead to an episode of depression and/or hypomania. 

I have already been to the doctors and started to put good support in place which has led to a medication increase which is helping with some of the symptoms.

I have also had so many offers of support and help and I am so grateful for these but I sometimes worry that I can’t always tell people what would be helpful or if there is something specific they can do. Sometimes the very simple things like a text or a chat over a cup of tea are enormously helpful and it is those spontaneous gestures that seem to have the greatest effect for me in combating the paranoia and very low self esteem.  I worry that people will think I am mucking people about or being a bit difficult when I don’t know what might help or what someone could do for me. 

In fact at this precise moment I am actually unsure what I really need or what could help as I am either still in a bit of denial that I feel unwell or just fighting all the thoughts going round my head so much that nothing makes much sense.

So to all those amazing people that try daily to help me and countless others with a mental illness – thank you. Please stick with us and apologies that sometimes I might appear vague about what would help the most, I am hugely grateful and just by being there you are helping so much.

In Limbo wondering what my mood might do next!

This time last week I was hypomanic in fact every day last week I could quite easily have worked another full day, my mind was racing and in certain social situations I had increased confidence. This also had negative symptoms as well and for the last 2 weeks the hypomania has presented different symptoms including anxiety. On Friday I noticed that my head and actions had calmed significantly however I have been left with the most frightening paranoia and I am terrified that I am going to enter a depressive episode and that is something I can’t seem to shake off.
I know that sometimes I can experience hypomania and then a period of relative stability however I also know that depression is an option and the last couple of episodes have gone this way and in a dramatic fashion.
A day or even an hour at a time is the best course of action for the next few days. Apologies for short blog but struggling to get my words out or make much sense. Thanks for reading.