Being well for such a long period has it’s down sides. From this deep depression I have realised that yes I did have a short time of ‘hypomania’. I either decided to ignore this or really took my eye off the ball and missed it altogether. Whichever it was it hurts as I wonder whether what I feel now could of been avoided or whether I would feel like this whatever the case.
During my recent high I managed to buy half the Christmas presents, organise a fairly rash/large birthday meal for my husband, survive on little sleep to name just a few things. Not a serious high and I functioned fully at all times (which is how my illness manifests itself) but the depression now is very bad and feel totally unsupported by the system.
After what I have realised today though I don’t blame people for not wanting to help. I normally pick up on changes in my mood. I feel like this is my punishment for being complacent.
Let’s just hope the deep depression is short lived.