After yesterday’s nightmare I decided that today I would go into work – before everyone says ‘you can’t be that unwell’ I took this hard decision in order to stay safe – simple as that. I didn’t have anyone I could ask to look after me today – the majority of people I know including my husband work full time. I struggled and yes at times did an oscar performance, had 2 panic attacks in the toilet and overall now really paying for it – a hard but necessary decision.
I did though this morning receive a call from the correct team at the Mental Health Trust. The guy I spoke to was at least sympathetic but after yesterday I had no energy to explain anything to anyone. I was offered an ’emergency appointment’ for this Thursday – not what I would call a fast response nearly 2 weeks after my GP got in touch with them. I asked the guy if I could send him my last 3 blogs as a way of explaining exactly how I was feeling and what was happening. Not sure if this was a good idea and even though I asked for a response and confirmation these would be read I have heard nothing! I have said that whoever sees me on Thursday needs to have read them otherwise I am in for another unhelpful and distressing experience.
I wonder what they will make of my blog? Will they make judgements on it before seeing me? Probably yes but I needed to be honest and I am a fighter who doesn’t give up lightly – that’s how I got through today and the other very tough days in the past.