A ray of hope for a short time …. Then it was gone…

So today I finally got my ’emergency ‘ mental health appointment. The anxiety I felt beforehand can’t really be put into words and my friend who took me had to really talk hard to me to get me to lose the ‘angry’ me that was protecting me from showing my emotion as I am trying to protect myself so much.
This took a huge effort but with help from those that know me I did it and saw a wonderful professional who was an absolute ray of sunshine in a very dark place. She listened, didn’t judge, let me talk, made me comfortable enough to speak without holding back – I am so grateful for this.
However this was a one off ray of sunshine – like a carrot dangled before me. Unfortunately unless I go to accident and emergency and get assessed by team connected to there and therefore go into hospital the next best thing and what is being offered to me is to be referred to the Short term intervention team. This has happened which would be at least a start however wait is 4 weeks before I get to see anyone else and only have inconsistent/anxiety provoking phone support in the meantime.
Today helped so much however effects of not having the continued support I need has set me back in a way. It also doesn’t make sense to be admitted to a short term team when I have a long term condition.

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