A very personal blog about my faith ..

I can’t explain to many people how struggling with my faith is affecting me. I have tried so hard to ‘find it’ or ‘feel something’ but even sitting in church on my own yesterday and today something that helps so much normally, just felt so odd.
I often feel a connection and very safe by walking in the door of the Church but I felt like an intruder. I felt I didn’t belong and the church felt strange – this hurt me so much.
I know others must feel this loss of faith but I am struggling with this so much. Faith gives me a purpose in these dark times and I can’t remember it going like this before, for so long and with no rays of light.
Even though I am feeling less depressed and not desperate that is irrelevant when my faith is so low or really not there at all.
I hope that I can start to see that light in my heart as we talked about today very soon & shine in time for Christmas.
I want to thank the people that have helped me with my faith ( especially the chats today) – so many to name each one – hopefully I will be back soon.

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