This coming Friday I am going to France to see my Dad & Step mum. My parents separated when I was 8 years old & all 3 of them are now happy – all I could ever hope for.
If someone had said to me 2 weeks ago that I was contemplating even making this trip I wouldn’t of believed them. I have though made so much progress in the last 8 days that I think it will do me good.
Friends are helping out with getting me to the airport and even though ideally I wouldn’t be going on my own I know Alan is working and I am sure I will be fine – I have done it before!
In preparation for this I have been setting myself very small manageable goals over the last few days. Yesterday’s was to go in 1 shop on my own and today I went out of work at lunchtime on my own and went to the bank, post office and to buy some clothes – my 1st purchases since my hypomanic phase!
Even though I had a small setback in the form of a trigger of past events and therefore had horrendous bad dreams and flashbacks during the last 24 hours I have continued to persevere and I am so glad I have.
Tomorrow’s task is the supermarket – only for a few bits but just small steps give me a bit of a boost.
The depression is very slowly lifting. I see glimmers of light and this is reassuring although I know from past experience that recovery is bumpy and does not take a straight path.
So onwards to France and the promise of cheese suppers and the odd glass of red!