I have not posted or even tweeted much for a while as I have been very busy with work but also dealing with increased anxiety. This is mostly because work is very stressful and I am struggling with the massive increase in pressure and uncertainty which every working day seems to bring.
I am experiencing physical symptoms like a racing heart beat, palpitations and the anxiety comes in great waves which can also catch me off guard. These symptoms along with worry and panic don’t make for very comfortable nights or for that matter days.
I am also anxious because I have been well for so long (since March/April) and this period of ‘wobblyness’ comes at what is always a difficult time of year for me. October and Autumn/Winter in general has many painful memories and often, although not always, the most likely time for a relapse. I think being scared of relapsing is one of the biggest factors in my anxiety and one that is hard to rationalise but talking about it certainly helps.
As ever I have put in place my WRAP and whilst I certainly don’t need to step into full blown crisis mode (far from it) I can be proud that I now have the coping strategies to acknowledge and deal with potential difficulties earlier than ever before.
I also have lots to look forward, starting with a holiday in France in a weeks time, a short break in November and a lovely family Christmas. Small steps are definitely in order!