I have really had enough of feeling like this. The depression is stopping me from doing so much – take singing for an example I really love to sing but yet when the depression is this bad I just can’t get any sound out.
I also really love my job but the depression and all that goes with it just overtakes everything and I haven’t done a full day for quite a while. I am lucky that I have a flexible manager and people reassure me that it is better for me to do some hours than be off sick. I can also do some work from home which means if I think about it logically I am probably doing at least 30 hours a week.
I just want to get back to normal but after such a deep depression this is going to take time and at the moment this hope seems pointless as nothing seems to be shifting.
I am also so frightened of being abandoned by everyone. I sometimes hide how bad I really am in case people can’t be bothered anymore. I just hope I can get back to feeling better again soon.