Just a short blog about my appointment tomorrow. I am meeting my care coordinator but she has also invited my last therapist who I haven’t seen since May last year but she knows me very well.
As I have mentioned before I am grateful to my CC for inviting the person who knows me best in the system however I am unsure as to what she hopes to gain from this. Whilst it will be useful to go through techniques I am absolutely clear that I did everything I could last October when I started to feel depressed and that I put every plan I could in place – what made it worse was the crisis help or lack of it.
I am also at the moment experiencing hypomania and I need to be honest tomorrow about this however I feel that if I am honest I won’t be believed because this is my last but one appointment before being discharged again.
What I am experiencing at the moment is very frightening but I am doing everything I can and at the moment by using the strategies I have learnt (mostly in therapy) I can function as best I can. If the feelings and symptoms I am experiencing get too much I can’t rely on the support of the system and that is a scary prospect.
I have decided that tomorrow I need to be honest, factual and state very clearly & calmly my views and hopefully something more suitable can be put in place for me. I am going with no expectations – that is the sad but true reality of mental health care for many people.