Trying to see some positives in what has been a difficult week.

Yesterday morning I made it to Church thanks to Mum for driving me. I also sung there and was so pleased as if I can have a good sing then that can sometimes help a but. This episode hasn’t given me symptoms of horrendous depression which I is unusual, but it has meant that things like singing are possible and I have noticed that I haven’t stayed in bed for really long periods of time. It has also meant that I think the desperation has been more intense so no less distressing an episode.
Yesterday afternoon I went for a crisis team appointment and although it started badly by one lone male nurse trying to see me on his own and a horrendous ‘appointment’ in reception with a doctor who refused to prescribe me what I am used to I did in the end see 2 female nurses who did their best to help.
Today I called my GP and she prescribed diazepam as normal and seemed completely happy that I am following my care plan regarding the medication correctly.
I was so reassured to speak to my GP and she promised we could revisit my care plan so that some of the communication problems can be improved and also decide if it is causing me too much distress seeking support with the mental health system.
I also went to work today and managed 4 hours which was just enough as I cleared a few emails, sorted some queries and slowly eased myself in. I then had my most positive appointment with the crisis team – only taken 6 days to get good support in place but they listened, understood my distress and most importantly didn’t judge me or jump to their own conclusions. It was the first appointment I had been seen fairly near the time allocated which makes a huge difference.
So I am now resting and think that I am definitely calmer, I am still sure I am doing all I can, I am not listening to those people that have been unsympathetic who should know better and I am still fighting. It isn’t great but I can see an improvement.

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