mental health

Dealing with stress at work, my survival guide!

~ katcopley ~ Leave a comment

As some of you may know I am dealing with huge increased stress at work at the moment and obviously with a diagnosis of bipolar I am scared I am getting ill or may get ill in the future. I am though lucky that at the moment I am very well and so I have been able to put some strategies in place to safeguard myself and to also go someway to stop being so frightened.

One of the most important things I have done is to recognise the symptoms of stress and deal with these as they occur. I have felt my anxiety rise which is probably the most frightening symptom as I often experience horrendous anxiety when I am ill. I have used the same coping strategies as I do for any anxiety I experience and given myself praise for coping with the anxiety (something I wouldn’t do if I was ill)!

I have recognised that stress is serious and just because it isn’t a bipolar episode I still need to take care of myself and recognise the symptoms. I have kept in constant contact with my doctor and asked friends and family for their reassurance, advice and support.

I have also drawn on support at work. Whilst certain people or situations have caused stress I also know that the organisation have procedures and policies to assist where necessary. I have done everything I can to make the time at work easier and drawn on HR support, team support and support of my close colleagues where I can.

I have used my WRAP which really comes into its own in times like this and it is even more important to take care of oneself and the mundane eating, sleeping etc are vital. Last week I wasn’t sleeping that well because it was hot and so I took something to help me sleep after just a couple of days as I knew and recognised that sleep was even more important during this period of stress.

Last weekend has also given me huge confidence and something to remember during the week that has followed. I took 16 Brownies to the Zoo, helped lead a Church parade and Messy Church and I felt fantastic! If I was ill the whole weekend would of been a massive struggle and at difficult times during this week I have remembered this. I have found that because I have a diagnosis of bipolar certain people have said I must be experiencing a bipolar episode when I have raised concerns over the stress I am under. When this has happened this week I have been able to remember last weekend and even tell people what I did and how I felt which has given me and others the confidence that I am not experiencing bipolar symptoms.

It hasn’t been easy and I am exhausted, emotional and sometimes physically unwell but I am taking a day at a time, doing all I can to take care of myself and can draw strength from the last few weeks.

Part of response from @Newsshopper regarding inappropiate picture

~ katcopley ~ Leave a comment

I am afraid that we do not remove or amend stories purely on the basis that a reader has requested us to do so.

As with all editorial decisions, a great deal of discussion and consideration goes into deciding which details we should include and omit from our articles.

Based on the fact the lady in question could not be identified in the photo and that the story had a positive conclusion, we felt the decision to include a photo was the right one. 

The image helps paint a picture of an event which caused a huge amount of interest, inconvenience and indeed concern for thousands of readers in the local area. If we did not cover such an event in a such a comprehensive manner we would be failing in our role as journalists.

With regards to your reference to the Samaritans’ code of conduct for journalists, editor Andrew Parkes has been in ongoing discussions with the charity about this code.

Would love to meet those who gave me a hard time when I first became ill…

~ katcopley ~ Leave a comment

Today I was feeling nostalgic! I went somewhere that I hadn’t been for a good many years and when my life was completely different. This made me feel so many different emotions. Firstly I thought of how far I had come, how lucky I am and that the friends I have now are true friends who support me 100% and I certainly don’t need to worry about any stigma when I am with them. This has come about because of many factors including increased awareness of mental health in the UK as a whole, people often knowing more people who experience mental health problems because of increased disclosure and probably in my own friendship groups people have realised that sticking by me isn’t all bad news!
Today also made me think of the ‘friends’ I lost, the friends that visited me once in hospital and then run away, the friends that didn’t believe I had anything wrong with me and the friends who even said I had lied about my childhood experiences. I am sad as I would of liked to have longer friendships with more of my friends from school, I am sad as I am sure some may have experienced mental health problems themselves or within their families and I would liked to have supported them and I am sad because I can now for the first time in years say I am a good friend to people and I really value my friendships and my friends.
So yes I would love to meet some of my friends from school, not to give anyone a hard time but to continue to make people aware of mental health illnesses and keep the conversation going.

Haven’t blogged for ages … This is why!…..#uberbusy

~ katcopley ~ Leave a comment

I haven’t blogged for absolutely ages but I have had the most amazing month! Firstly I am well! Really well – no depression, no hypomania just steady … calm and well! Not only that I have coped with being ridiculously busy, quite a bit of stress (good stress!) and the odd panic attack in a way that I haven’t coped before.
As some of you may know I am a Christian and very involved with my local Church. I first went along when I was not even a year old and 34 years later it still plays a huge and wonderful part in my life. I am now an Elder and run the Messy Church with my sister in law amongst other things. I was married in the Church 5 years ago which was the happiest day of my life and the church has journeyed with me and supported me during every stage of my life and especially through my bipolar diagnosis and traumatic life events. This amazing fellowship and congregation of inspirational, devoted friends has just celebrated its 75th anniversary and boy have we celebrated! It has been wonderful to remember the laughter, some tears and worship that has taken place within the Church and been lovely to celebrate with the local community and members past and present. As the Church looks forward to the next 25 years or even 75 years I am also able to look forward knowing that I have the most amazing support network in place starting with my husband, family and friends and am so lucky to have the Church as a constant support as they also learn more about mental illness and as the stigma and barriers surrounding his sometimes difficult topic are broken down by friendship, fellowship and prayer.
Last weekend after the Church’s celebrations were over I joined with 47 others to celebrate the 50th Wedding Anniversary of a very special couple. Carole and Mike welcomed me into their home, family and friendship groups nearly 15 years ago after Carole was my tutor at college when I returned to re-take my a’levels at the age of 19. This followed my first hospital admission and I was so unwell. After supporting me at college Carole and I became friends and she has been there through so many difficult times and spent many hours in accident and emergency and psychiatric hospitals with me as well as providing me with somewhere to live at times. As I have slowly journeyed through recovery and got better at managing my episodes Carole has been there and helped me learn so much about myself and my illness and had been a major player in helping me get to where I am today. Last weekend 48 of us celebrated at Butlins and I am immensely proud of Carole and Mike, and their love for each other and for their family and friends is an inspiration.
The message from this blog for me is a reminder of the wonderful support I have, the people I have rooting for me and the fact that at the moment I am doing well and that taking a day at a time is the way forward for me. I am well at the moment and yes I am terrified of getting ill but I need to live in the now and I am going to try so hard to do this.
Massive thanks to all my family, friends and Church fellowship – love you all.

Keeping busy but not too busy! #recovery

~ katcopley ~ Leave a comment

I haven’t blogged for a while mainly because I have been mega busy! I am really enjoying being well however at the back of my mind is a nagging worry that won’t go away. I am worried about getting ill again and that this exceptionally busy period that I am having at the moment ( which I hasten to add is very enjoyable) might prove to be a trigger. I find myself regularly checking for symptoms and lying awake thinking about my day and whether there are any signs that I am going downhill that I missed.
Thank goodness that apart from being tired which isn’t out of the ordinary I am definitely not feeling depressed or even low, I am not overly anxious and have no hypomanic symptoms.
Due to the fact that I have this constant nagging worry & the fact that looking after myself is so important I have come up with a few things that I am going to do everyday. I am hoping that these things will lessen the worry and reassure myself that I am doing ok. My list so far is:

-Letting myself have a short ‘Worry’ time each day and then try to leave my worries for the rest of the day.
-Have at least half an hour (hopefully more when I am less busy) of ‘me’ time each day where I write a blog, read or watch TV.
-Have regular breaks at work and make sure I eat 3 times a day
-Talk to family and friends and listen to them if they think I am overtired or if they have any concerns
-Remind myself of my WRAP regularly but without obsessing about possible symptoms

I have come such a long way over the past month or so and I am hoping that this will continue for the foreseeable future but I also don’t want to be dragged down everyday that I am feeling well by worrying about getting ill.

It’s a WRAP!

~ katcopley ~ 3 Comments

I thought I would write a blog about my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) as this has been a great help to me and although it isn’t for everyone it might help people to read about mine! I also find that it reinforces mine to myself and than can only be a good thing.
Mine might not be the method everyone uses but it is one way:

Wellness Tools:
(Activities I enjoy or that help me feel better)

Spending time with husband & family
Talking to Friends/Socialising
Mindfulness
Going to Church
Keeping a routine
Using my light box
Reading
Singing
Watching things on TV I enjoy
Listen to music
Doing things I know I can do
Write a blog
Chat on Twitter

Daily Maintenance Plan:
(Things I should try and do everyday)

Keeping a routine
Eating 3 meals a day
Getting some rest
Taking regular breaks at work
Resting at home everyday
Reading for 1/2 hour everyday
Have a shower
Do something I enjoy
Keep my mind active
Mindfulness
Get out of bed everyday

Triggers:
(Identifying those triggers or events that might make me feel worse)

Tiredness
Emotional events
Seeing people that may of caused me distress in the past
Skipping meals
Too much stress at work
Spending too much time alone

If any of these triggers occur I try and implement an action plan:
I try and stick to my daily maintenance plan
Call someone on my support list
Practice mindfulness

Early Warning Signs:
(Subtle signs that I may becoming unwell)

Not sleeping more than about 4 hours
Slight paranoia
Anxiety in certain situations
Becoming very low
Spending too much money
Racing thoughts

If I notice these signs I then try and implement an action plan:
Ask for some help from support list to implement daily maintenance plan
Ask people for help and support
Try to have company where possible
Start using PRN – probably promethazine

When things are getting worse:
(What signs I should look out for when I am feeling much worse)

Wanting to sleep all day but not able to sleep at night
Anxiety getting worse & shaking some of the time
Not eating at all without prompting
Having thoughts of suicide
Hearing or seeing things that others can’t
Paranoia so bad that I can’t leave the house easily

If these signs are present then again I try and implement an action plan:
Call GP
Think about implementing crisis plan
Try and ensure I am not on my own
Talk with people who are able to offer support
Think about taking Diazepam to control symptoms
Talk to work about implementing flexible working

Crisis Plan:
Ensure that GP is involved at this stage and in discussion with me consider contacting CMHT.
Ensure I have medication to help with symptoms
Attend A&E as a last resort but ask for help from support network.
Ask for support in monitoring PRN so that I am safe
Identifying where on the scale my suicidal thoughts are.
Carry my WRAP & care plan from GP with me to show to other professionals I might meet.

This is my WRAP that works for me and helps me to feel more in control which I find really important. I constantly re-visit this WRAP and share its contents with those involved in my care. It has also proved useful at work to ensure I am supported correctly.

Some of my thoughts on writing a complaint to a health care trust as a patient

~ katcopley ~ 1 Comment

I have been thinking that I should put together some of the things that I consider and try to do when making a complaint to my local NHS trust regarding poor care. Please note these are my own personal thoughts but some people may find some of this useful so I thought I would blog! These thoughts also relate mostly to complaints made about poor mental health care.

1. I normally don’t write a letter of complaint until I am more stable than I had been during the time that the poor care took place. This isn’t always possible as sending a letter within a certain timeframe might also be a factor but it is worth thinking about.

2. I try and write some positive points about the care I received as normally because such great people work in the NHS I often am on the receiving end of some excellent care. It is vital to me to mention this as these comments can be passed on and I am a great believer in sharing good practice and hope that trusts would do the same.

3. I once went on a course about using Non Violent Communication effectively and always make sure I use these techniques when writing any complaint. The basic principle is using the ‘Fact, Feeling, Need, Request’ method of communication. State the facts, state clearly how you feel (without too much emotion), say what you need and what the request would be to meet the need. This approach is not easy and I might not of done it justice by my description here but I really swear by it and use it to help colleagues in difficult work situations as well.

4. I have a couple of good friends who often read my letters before I send them. This is mostly because I want to be factual, correct and not too emotional. Yes I want them to know how I have been affected but also not get carried away and so having someone to read through what I write is vital for me.

I would be interested to hear other tips people might have about complaining. It is vital that our voices are heard so that trusts can learn from the mistakes that are sadly all too often made.

GP back in the driving seat!

~ katcopley ~ 1 Comment

So today I went to see my GP and it was my first contact with a professional since I was so abruptly discharged over a week ago. I have really missed the support of the HTT who I saw 10 days ago and my appointment last Wednesday with my so called care coordinator was the shortest ever and certainly not a therapeutic help.
My GP was obviously surprised to hear I had been discharged and hadn’t been informed that she was now the main point of contact for someone with bipolar, just out of crisis and who had been under the HTT team only 10 days ago in the midst of a bipolar episode. She was though professional and straight away confirmed that she could see me fortnightly and also if I used the email system it would be picked up and then someone would act on it.
She also checked again with me the crisis plan and I was as always impressed with her knowledge of mental health, her trust in me as a patient and also reassurance as she knows I am very anxious about my illness and the lack of support.
Today has given me some reassurance that I was in desperate need of however it isn’t really what I know I need but it has helped me as I am less anxious than I was last night.
I now feel in a position to write to the trust about my care. It is vital to give praise where I received good care but also highlight the very damaging incidences that affected my safety and well being during the recent episode.

Crisis Care finished on Monday – Complete discharge on Wednesday – where is the logic?

~ katcopley ~ 2 Comments

So on Monday I was discharged from the HTT team knowing that today I had an appointment with my care coordinator in the Short Term Intervention team.
To set the background story I was discharged from MH services last May after being in the system for 15 years. After a crisis last October I was referred back to services but only to the Short Term Intervention Team (SIT Team). It was made very clear to me that this was just until March ( this month) however I hadn’t really been thinking about this having been in crisis again following an episode and only just been well enough to be discharged from the HTT.
on Monday I was apprehensive about being discharged from HTT but I knew that the initial crisis had passed and felt that with the support of my care coordinator and GP I would feel supported – little did I know that the originally plan for discharge from the SIT team was being kept to, despite my recent episode and so I am writing this with absolutely no MH support at all.
I am still in shock and I was not up to challenging this decision and didn’t for a few reasons. Firstly I know that the system has very tight constraints and therefore my care coordinator probably was not able to change the decision that was made today. Secondly I am so paranoid and anxious that I didn’t have the confidence to challenge the decision and Thirdly I really think that because I work they don’t fully understand the crisis that I have experienced and how bipolar affects me day to day so challenging might make things worse.
This all comes back to the fact that the system seems to do everything it can to push people out of long term care and into short term care when they in fact have a long term mental health condition. I acknowledge that I do cope with episodes better than I did and therefore do not need the high level support I once did but I am positive that by keeping me in the system with some consistancy would aid the recovery from episodes and mean I get crisis support quickly and not have to wait for referrals all the time.
From another perspective I feel for my family and friends who have also had the reassurance that I was being supported, monitored cared for 2 days ago but now I am back with my GP and they are also without the support network that they had.
As a governor I understand some of the challenges but the total lack of flexibility shown in my case this week is staggering and I am hoping it won’t have a devastating effect long term.

This Crisis Care just keeps getting worse ….

~ katcopley ~ Leave a comment

Last night one of the things I asked for at A and E was some more medication as the only thing that is really giving me any respite from the anxiety/paranoia is diazepam. I only keep a very small number of these as when I am well I might only take 2mg every couple of weeks or even less than that. When I called my GP last Wednesday she asked me what meds I had and if I had enough to take 5-6mg per day until yesterday as by then we hoped that the Mental Health Team support would be in place. Obviously by last night I was running low and now I only have 4 mg left.
Last night at A and E I explained this and the MH worker who I saw wrote down how much I was taking currently and that I needed some more. This wasn’t though passed on to the Home Treatment Team and so when I turned up today they knew nothing about it.
The other very weird thing is that they said they have no doctors within HTT over the weekend and therefore can only rely on the duty doctors on the psychiatrist wards in the same building. They did ask her to prescribe but because the mental health team aren’t my main carer’s there is no record of prescribing diazepam in the last 6 months because my GP does this.
I am pretty disgusted by this and just as I had found a small amount of stability I am putting this in jeopardy. My friend who was with me last has confirmed that we asked for the medication however the HTT even questioned this as well today. As a governor of the trust where I am trying to access support this completely baffles me and I am starting to feel that I am being targeted in someway although I realise that paranoia is so bad that I need to keep these thoughts to one side.
I am seeing the HTT tomorrow afternoon as having the contact and support is a valuable part of the support that I need but I am worried about coping till Monday with less medication.